Friday, September 29, 2006

Intrepid Medicine and Wrong Science

'Comfortable? Then we'll get things going here...' 'Um, are you sure you're a real doctor?' 'Darling, I'm not even a real woman.'

Long time readers will know that I've used that punchline before, but damn it, it's the funniest thing I have ever written or will ever write. Sad, really.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

OK, OK, I Thought of One

'Damn it, Jim - I know you hate these time travel capers, but there's no need to take it out on defenceless Tribbles!' 'Can it, Bones - they're playing the fight music. En garde, bitch.' Da da DA DA DA DA DA DA da-da...

Hang on, I just checked the comments at the original one, and someone had already mentioned Tribbles. Fuck. Fuck. Ah well.

Monday, September 25, 2006


Pretty man or flat-chested woman? Grace had no way of telling. Best to just concentrate on polishing the silverware, she decided. Sensing her thoughts, the stranger self-consciously covered his/her genitals to ward off further inspection.

Friday, September 22, 2006


Werepig! WEREPIG! Save yourselves, men - I'll hold him off as long as I can!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Gratuitous Pop Culture Reference #D

Alzheimers eventually took its toll on Indy. 'But if that's my whip in the basket, then what... Aw, shitcakes.'

I did have another caption for this one, but I figured I better get in with the Indy reference before everyone else does.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Monday, September 18, 2006

Friday, September 15, 2006

If it's Friday, it must be a Cthulhu Joke

Ia! Ia! Chtulhu fhtagn!
In other news, the last post generated more than the usual amount of traffic, suggesting two things about LARPers:

  1. They like a joke.
  2. They are everywhere.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Death to Them All

'That's right, fellows - run to safety while I dispatch this taurine behemoth with my Vorpal Sceptre!' Timmy's dead now. Stupid fucking LARPer.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Meanwhile, in a Tree

January 5: Have been stuck up tree for 13 days now. Surviving on dew sucked from tree moss. Have soiled self repeatedly. Father and Uncle Bill occasionally come out to taunt me with ladder. Bastards.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Hellooo, Nurse!

I don't know why you're so worried about a bump on the knee -- those two behind you don't have any noses, for Christ's sake.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Monday, September 04, 2006

Friday, September 01, 2006

I am Returned

London, eh? Nice place to visit, etc etc. Long haul flights suck quite substantially, but security controls weren't nearly as bad as I'd been lead to fear -- I got a harder time from customs coming into Auckland than I did in Heathrow. Anyway, on with the show:

The trip to Amsterdam was going well until Ermintrude got The Fear.