Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Behind You!

A sudden noise made Bertie look around. Was it Marjorie? Had she finally come to seek revenge for the sodium in her catheter bag? Adjusting his attack trousers up another notch, he moved to investigate...

10 comments:

Jo said...

Being a model for the RTA sign artist was a truly tiresome job.

bree said...

Jack looked around hoping no-one had noticed that he had accidentally pushed Scarlett Johansson out the window again while filing Girl with a Pearl Earring...

hillhunt said...

When the rumours started, Derek laughed with the best of them. A mysterious blonde with an itchy zipper finger, who marked her conquests with a single cut of the scissors? An urban myth, surely?

But then there was Roxy, with the smouldering lips and her seductive whisper: "Close your eyes, darling, this will be special..." Now his stunted tie bore witness to his shame, and there was only one lonely and desperate way out...

jacobmarley said...

Young Adolf's address to the adoring masses outside his window was rudely interrupted.

"Hang on I zink zat's der pizza-dude. Keep on with zose Zeig Heils and I'll be back in zee minooten."

evil eye said...

Jason threw his Mickey Mouse head out of the window. He was fed up of the sadistic foreplay. He may have been MJ's childhood sweet heart, but now he had grown up he could tell the twinkle in his once longing eyes had now gone. The only thing left was to drown Macaulay Culkin, shoot Michael and drown himself in the bath.

Anonymous said...

Bertram had underestimated the adhesive properties of pigeon shit. And the stirring in his bowels was about to get serious.

Anonymous said...

A chill ran through him as the unmistakable whirring sound of GRANBOT01 could be heard on the stairs. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to be checking out the small print of the guarantee to his new ACME anti-rectal trauma braces.

Warren said...

Harry? Harry? Are you behind me?

Damn!


Once more, Ron was thwarted in his desire to be caught unawares by Harry's seven-inch-long wand as he leaned out over the windowsill and looked for You-Know-What.

"Hogwarts," he sneered. "My brothers have lied to me about everything."

Little did he know that Hermione had donned her magical Double-Ended Snickerstaff, and was creeping stealthily up the stairs behind him even as he shuddered in disappointment...

vincenzo said...

It wasn't Marjorie at all. It was Hillary Clinton singing showtunes with that southern accent. Bertie had a little bit of that sodium left from his attack on Marjorie, so it rubbed it straight into his corneas as not to see the spectacle as she seemed to be strangely attracted to his attack pants.

Not knowing how to escape, he took a split second for deep inner thought and yelled "THANK YOU VINCE FOSTER" and jumped from the 4th story window. He was disembowled by Marjories IV stand outside the window, but he had a peaceful smile on his face.

Anonymous said...

Bertie looked around nervously, he didn't want mummy to see what he was about to do, but he had to do it, nothing gave him that supreme thrill like jerking off in front of an open window did...