Thursday, May 17, 2007

Menstrurific!

'Right, into the Red Lodge with you - can't have you blighting the crops with your feminine taint!' 'Don't be stupid - I'm not due for another two weeks. And this isn’t a Red Lodge, it's the cupboard under your stairs!' 'Quiet, Leaky. I'll be back with some rags in a while.' *SLAM*

Can I just say, that, from a purely phonological standpoint, "menstruation" is the most horrible word in the English language. You've got "nstr" -- the highest number of consonant sounds its possible to stick together, followed by a vowel and a diphthong together! I feel like I'm going to dislocate something whenever I say it. Just thought I'd point that out.

12 comments:

hillhunt said...

The Feminisation of Top Gear #2

"They promised me that I could wank on about cars with Jeremy, Richard and the other one," sobbed Kylie.

"That was before we decided to replace the garage with The Naughty Stair. Now sit quietly or we'll make you eat the rest of the offal."

LeeLee said...

And this is where Mistress Jane keeps her toys and 'cuffs, you naughty, naughty new girl...".....

...."Ouch that hurt."

"Ouch that hurt what?"

...."Ouch, that hurt, Mistress..."

"Better..."

Do I need counselling, or did I just get in first with this one?

Andy said...

And Then There Was Rape.

Iskander said...

"But... but... I don't remember the scene where Lucy is dildo-raped in the Wardrobe!"

"It's in a later book; now shut up, bitch!"

vincenzo said...

The cotton crop had been ruined by the red stain, but TARGET smartly bought all the cotton for a new advertisement campaign.

Leaky was pushed into the dark room, then a bright light shined...

"De tide, de tide, de red tide boss" yelled Tatoo.

"Leaky, welcome to Massengil Island" greated Mr Roarke. He then handed her a tennis racquette and her mom showed up for a walk on the beach. Life was grand and they douched the time away...

Unfortunately, Leaky suffered from PMS Bipolar Crop and Human Killing Syndrom and mother had to go. Mr Roarke bannished her from Massengil Island forever, but Target had quite a nice commercial with young people dancing around like idiots in white and red cotton...thanks to Leaky!

jacobmarley said...

What's ironic is that a diphthong is the last thing you'll be wearing when you've got the painters in.

jacobmarley said...

The building inspectors won't pass those stairs because they're WAY over the permitted angle. Now get in their and contemplate the latest rise and run charts and don't come out until your prepared to say sorry....

....call yourself an architect!?

Alan said...

"Thanks to the power of my cybernetic magnet ear, you're coming with ME!"

Talula gasped in terror as the dark of Miss Sucky-Ear's secret cave surrounded her.

Jason - GorillaSushi said...

"C'mon. I want to show you the labyrinth and the fairies."

"Dude, why does your 'dad' keep shooting people? I mean, what's up with that?"

RSJS said...

Okay,I see your menstruation and raise you phenolphthalein. Five consonants in a row, biyatch.

Heh "I see your menstruation". Heh. Filthy cur.

Josh said...

Five consonants, but only three consonant sounds ("ph" is one sound, as is "th"). Do not fuck with me on this, son.

Ed said...

When Leaky needs good news, the blogosphere responds!