Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Important Announcement

Children! The New Zealand flatworm is an introduced pest in the UK. Do not take one home and surreptitiously feed it table scraps until it grows to an enormous size. That's just what the Communists want.

Seriously, though -- if you live in the British Isles and happen to come across a specimen of the New Zealand flatworm, notify the Agricultural Development and Advisory Service or the Scottish Crop Institute. Apparently they give a fuck.

11 comments:

Warren said...

After moving to her seaside cottage, Rachel quickly learned how to capture the gentle animal's attention, as well as why it was known as the sperm whale.

Thumpsquid said...

According to a friend of mine who works in Cardiff councils park service, the best thing to do with the New Zealand flatworm is: kill it with a brick. Not that funny, but as everyone else is going to go for some horrible zoophile post, or something about killer duvets, I thought I'd be the boring one, as my caption about Horse entrails just did not work

Josh said...

Good call, that man.

Dan said...

Marsha was seriously disappointed. The 10 doses of Me_ga d_ik she'd slipped in Randall's scotch had certainly added 30 inches, but it did nothing for his erectile dysfunction. There'd be no whizzgiggling tonight...

Col Wilson said...

After seven nights of torrid love making, Sally was starting to think that maybe Peter hadn't come back from college with a really high quality chimpanzee suit. In fact, if she told the truth she didn't really care about him any more...

Basilisc said...

Despite growing up in an atmosphere of wealth, privilege, and glittering opulence, Marjorie still enjoyed the simple things in life. She loved sleeping late on a Saturday. Then lying in bed until all hours, daydreaming. Then calling in the butler for ninety minutes of expert cunnilingus.

bree said...

Cheryl awoke to smell of smoke but quite to her surprise the New Jersey fire dept were already at the scene in their tight vests and long hoses. This really was going to be a great day :)

Robot Whirly said...

It had been a terrific holiday, packed with one adventure after another, but after 3 days of picknicking on auntie Meg's delicious oat and bran flapjacks, devilled prune cakes and Bovril coated walnuts Carol was caught unawares by the ferocity and prolapse inducing turgidity of her suprise 3 AM bowel evacuation - still, she was sure that as long as she explained how she had gamely tried to reach the toilet auntie Meg would understand. Carol made a mental note to take some pajama bottoms, a trowel and a bottle of febreeze to bed with her tomorrow night.

LeeLee said...

Before she commenced, ALexis like to spend a few minutes imaging exactly what might be the best way to gain maximum pleaseure from her new love-toy... It was a silly little ritual, but it just made the whle thing a little more 'fun'.

Andy said...

"M...my legs! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY LEGS?"

JamesO said...

Sadly since its privatisation in 1997 and morphing into the meaningless non-acronym ADAS, I don't think the Agricultural Development and Advisory Service could give a toss about New Zealand Flatworms.

Personally I think the Kiwis sent them over here as revenge.