Tuesday, June 12, 2007

A Cautionary Tale

'AIIEE! The pixies are flying their tiny plane into my armpit!' The dangers of masturbation #17: Loss of depth perception coupled with belief in pixies.

9 comments:

Iskander said...

If that fucking Lindbergh hits on me again I swear I'll kill his kid!

LeeLee said...

You got to trust me on this, big guy, Pixies are real.

Andy said...

Ooooh, curse those "low-flyers" and their incredibly powerful subwoofers!

jacobmarley said...

St Hilda's School for Fundamentalist Creationism Of The Sacred Heart was regularly buzzed by remote control planes from the neighbouring science park, blaring out insistant messages.

The insane Headmistress made sure that Gemima the head girl lead the students in "La la la I'm not listening" classes.

Zakk said...

"I've got the giantess in my sights, commander. Requesting permission to fire."

"Negative. Blast her with techno first!"

"Noooooo!!! Damn you Kraftwerk!"

LeeLee said...

Jemeima was pissed off. All the rest of the platoon had been issued standard camouflage fatigues and managed to blend seamlessly with the natural environment. SHe, on the other hand had been given a gingham dress of red tartan with the word "STRAFE ME" written on the back. If only she could shut out the cruel laughter and taunts of the other girls, why she'd be as right as rain......

hillhunt said...

So many questions....

Did stewardesses normally train outside the plane?
Do Ryanair fly planes that small?
Should she have let Captain Roger have his evil way before he got her a job?
And why did he insist on calling her Doris Tamanual?

Col Wilson said...

I just know that if I could spin my nose that fast I could fly too...

Anonymous said...

As Tom Cruise struggled with the latex mask, the rest of the production crew left for the end of shoot party.

"That'll teach the little bastard. And if my timings right, he won't get that thing off before the perverts in the bushes get to him."