Thursday, March 15, 2007

That's Not How It Works...

The girls had succeeded in trapping the evolutionist up a tree. 'What's the matter, Darwin-lover? Why don't you just evolve some wings and fly away?' She'd have to come down some time, and when she did they'd show her God’s love. By beating fuck out of her, obviously.

UPDATE: Hi to the good folks at Pharyngula. Have a look around, make yourselves comfortable -- just ignore the fact that I constantly and deliberately confuse monkeys with apes and we'll get on fine...

GRAMMAR UPDATE: No, there isn't meant to be a "the" in "beating fuck out of her." Not everyone uses the same colloquialisms as you, asshole.

21 comments:

bas said...

"bark" said Judas the dog "bark, bark"
"There he is, up in that tree!!!"
"Let's poke him with sharp sticks and crusify him!!!"
"indeed so!!"
And Jesus knew he lost again, damn that halo for giving him away.

RSJS said...

I know the comments are for alternate texts and blah de blah, but I juat wanted to say "that's some funny fucking shit right there. Yo."

As you were.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, rsjs, for leading the way:
hahahahahahahahahahahah
FUNNY :D I'm going to link the shit out of this one...

Anonymous said...

As she hid up the tree, Emily was frightened and confused. Her handbook "Sapphic Love for Beginners' had emphasised the caring, sensitive and intimate nature of lady-love. Obviously she should have been less anxious to come out, and go on to read the chapter entitled 'Getting Gang-banged and spanked By the Rough Girls from the Estate'

Lee Lee said...

ps that last one was by Lee Lee and he is proud of it

Lucky said...

The worm-boy had made his way up the tree with ease, where he could hide in safety. Before he knew it the hound had lead its mistresses to the worm child. "Theres the freak!" the girls cried, hearts exploding with joy. He would be roasted over the campfire come morning.

ed said...

Being comfortable enough with their own sexuality to dress as females, the boys would help the confused man in the tree by showing him how to dress properly.
Unitards with hoods were never going to be fashionable.
Like always, he would resist change at first, but gentle stroking with the stick would sooth him into submission soon enough.

Richeh said...

They'd been taking the tree apart for hours, but the girls were still no nearer to rescuing Clive.

Surely there MUST be an easier way...

jacobmarley said...

Nelson the one eyed dog always had problems with perspective.

"That's the wrong fucking tree you daft mutt, it's the one behind"

Osama Bin Ladin however was already hot footing it over the horizon and the American crack Ranger troop (Disguised as girls) had failed miserably again.

"Oh fuck this! Lets go and shoot some Limeys"

busterp said...

"Look, Patches treed another little one", exclaimed Tracy.

"This time don't let her run off with it. We need her garments for leggings."

PetStarr said...

God DAMMIT you're funny. Marry me?

The Science Pundit said...

That's okay, I do the same with apes and monkeys--and while I'm at it, I also deliberately confuse rats with all other rodents. ;-)

Andy said...

Suddenly, the knowledge that he had run afoul of a furry bait-and-rape operation dawned upon the wolf. It was going to be a long night.

Dan said...

Slowly, the Greek public became aware of the unorthodox methods used by the new National Antiquities Recovery Association.

They were not pleased. Not at all.

Abie said...

Just arrived here from Pharyngula, and am glad I did!
Were do you find all these incredible pictures?

Fatmop said...

I just showed up from Pharyngula, too, and this site immediately hit my bookmarks. I've mailed it to all my friends. All seven.

Anonymous said...

...then the atheist wagged his tail and licked his privates, feeling very smug with the false attributes that he had assigned. He was a good dog!

Xifihas said...

I would have said to the religionuts "Why dont you just get God to get me down from this tree?"

Anonymous said...

Harold enjoyed the feeling of straddling a branch whilst naked. Unfortunately, the local all-girls school had caught sight of him masturbating in the tree. The local Punishment Squad was summoned forth to dispense retribution.

Fortunately, Harold just happened to have a BDSM beating fetish as well.

amcz said...

We caught him! We caught the Irishman!

Anonymous said...

When he applied to join the older kids super fun club the idea of initiation rituals sounded fine to Timmy. Now as he cowered in the tree protecting his rectum he realised that the club was not all it was cracked up to be.