Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Moments in Secret History

'Stop him -- that donkey just shot JFK!' But they were too slow -- Binky escaped and a nation cried out for blood. Oswald would never know that he'd been sent down by a fucking quadruped.

13 comments:

hillhunt said...

"I just know that I'll be the girl Hef chooses tonight," gushed Mitzi. "He always wants the one with the perfect ass."

Anonymous said...

The girls attempts at artificially insiminating the beast were doomed from the start, however. Bobby knew the other animals would give him hell for this.

hunthill said...

"Quick," cried Arabella, "we just can't let him get away. Everyone's saying that mules are this year's must-have."

hillhunthill said...

"It's a re-enactment of the Somme."

"How so?"

"Leannes led by donkeys."

Noah Brand said...

The other girls had laughed at Belinda because of her deformity, but when she won the annual cross-country race, they all praised her as a hero. Scarcely a week later, the ravages of puberty struck, and Belinda soon missed the days when they only laughed.

Robert said...

Exhausted as they were, the girls couldn't help worrying about Miss Lewisham, tied to the tree back at the school lodge. But her instructions had been very clear, and they didn't dare to disobey: all had solemnly promised that no matter what she said, they wouldn't untie her until they had beaten her ass.

Ted Maul said...

"Well?" asked Jane

"Nothing" Replied Florence "I'm confused. I overheard the boys saying that a Donkey Punch gives a great sensation but I've punched this Donkey 3 times already and have felt nothing"

The girls were in for a surprise the next morning when they recieved the Portuguese Breakfast they had asked for.

cinnamon said...

fuck I love this blog

Steve Dix said...

The school reenactment of Palm Sunday went rather flat when Millicent, playing Jesus, got a low branch full in the face and fell off the donkey.

busterp said...

Steve Dix made me smile.

Baggypants said...

Claire and June knew it wasn't a real My Little Pony, but Jane was high as a kite and they wanted in.

Baggypants said...

At the Midsummer Nights Dream rehersal Dotty got carried away in her role as Queen Titania

Anonymous said...

Later, the girls would refuse to explain exactly how the ass had managed to eat all of their underpants.