Friday, July 14, 2006

Mock the Corpulent

I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass/ faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast. Billy, Eminem is looking at you.

15 comments:

Harlequin said...

Though Billy was fully prepared for inclement weather, he had not considered the repurcussions of his poor bladder control.

hillhunt said...

Norbert stared miserably at the stumps of his fingers and forced himself to admit that emery-board addiction had him in its terrifying grip.

Apathy Jack said...

Billy sat at the top of the ice shelf, looking at all the children who had mocked him.

"We'll see whose 'too fat to ski' now, bastards!" he said.

The answer was still: Him. But he could get quite the roll on, and as the the avalanche engulfed all of the young snow-trippers, well, actually, none of them thought of Billy, except the one cruel youth who went to his icy grave with the final thought "At least I got to make fun of that fat kid before I died, so I can't say it's a wasted life..."

Hewligan said...

As the rumblings began, Mr Creosote wondered if that wafer thin mint had really been such a good idea.

red said...

He hated that football team, and although he had no access to firearms he still found a way to exact his revenge

Revenge from a great height…

Andy said...

Struggle though he might, Billy just could not reach the World's Largest Linguini that had been cruelly wrapped around his neck.

"Damn these flabby and inflexible ham-arms!"

Maffu said...

In his later years, Beadle fell victim to Pie Love, becoming in the process a clumsy, fat cunt.

Anonymous said...

Robert's fat-pill had worked, and in less time than even he had anticipated. Marveling at his new extra baggage, Robert could not help but think, "This must be how Americans feel. . ."

Auntie said...

By sheer accident, Fatty discovered that his future was as owner of a successful crazy paving business.

Maffu said...

"Scratch’d by a fall, with moans
As children of weak age
Lend life to the dumb stones
Whereon to vent their rage.
And bend their little fists, and rate the senseless ground"

Shit, I forgot to mention sex, cunt and bodily fluids. Sorry..

Noah Brand said...

We always wanted to make fun of Dave for being a clumsy fat kid, but alas, he was surprisingly graceful, blessed with a dainty economy of movement that rendered his least gesture oddly evocative.

So we just greased him till he fell down.

Anonymous said...

The midgets worshiped their giant man God, untill one evening he sliped on their creamy excesses and squased most of the tribe.

Anonymous said...

The midgets worshiped their giant man God, untill the fatefull day when he sliped on their creamy excesses and squashed the tribe.

jacobmarley said...

Even Princess Palm and her five lovely daughters cringed at the thought of sexual congress with Bunter.

Johnny C. Lately said...

Edmund began to think that the gentleman who suggested the "Acid Rain Weightloss Program" was playing a joke at his expense.